Monday, October 22, 2012
The Letting Go Blog Hop by Kyra Lennon!
Today is the Letting Go Bloghop, hosted by the awesome Kyra Lennon at Write Here, Write Now, in celebration of her book If I Let You Go!
How it works is that we're supposed to post about a time we've had to let go, and that's pretty much it.
So, here's mine...(and pardon me for it not being written the best - I'm typing the thoughts as they come to me because it's not something I like to think about much).
It's about a boyfriend I had in college. We started dating at the end of my freshman year and were still together when I graduated, but by that time, I felt like we were more than friends than a couple. Mostly, that's my fault. I started to feel claustrophobic and the more time he wanted to spend with me, the less time I wanted to spend with him. I don't know exactly why that was, but my interests started changing and I just didn't feel the same way I used to.
Anyhow, I was young and stupid. I left to go back home so I could start a job, and we tried to do the long distance thing, but I wanted to let loose a little bit. I started hanging out with my sister and her best friend a lot. We'd go dancing on Friday nights and I was getting hit on a lot. I always turned the guys down because I had a boyfriend, but there was one guy who was really persistent...and very good looking and charming. He wore me down and I did something I still regret to this day...I cheated on my boyfriend.
I came clean about it pretty fast, and we broke up - naturally - but we couldn't completely sever ties. My name was still on our lease in the college town, so I was paying that until the lease ended. But it wasn't just that. We still talked every day. At first it was a lot of yelling at each other, and we talked about trying to work things out. After we decided it wasn't going to happen, we'd still talk every day, even after we started dating other people. I'd tell him about my boyfriend. He'd tell me about his girlfriend. We had a lot of friends in common and we'd discuss them. He'd tell me about his new job, and I'd tell him about mine. This went on for almost a year, after I started dating my current husband. I don't even quite remember why it tapered off, but one day he didn't call me when he usually did. And I didn't call him. He called a few days later and we talked, but then I didn't hear from him really after that, and I didn't call, either, having decided that it was something that was long overdue.
It was a big adjustment, letting go of someone I still cared about, but I'm not sure it was really healthy that we kept talking. It was like we were afraid to make the break completely, though I don't know how happy we were to even hear from each other in the end. It's almost like we felt obligated to keep talking.
Either way, although I regret my actions and the way things ended, I also know it was for the best. We're both in better places. He's married to the girl he started dating after me. I'm married the guy I started dating. I'm happy with my current situation, and I'm hoping he's happy in his.
Anyway, that's my story of letting go.
Be sure to check out all the other entries on Kyra's page.