Monday, October 22, 2012

The Letting Go Blog Hop by Kyra Lennon!


Today is the Letting Go Bloghop, hosted by the awesome Kyra Lennon at Write Here, Write Now, in celebration of her book If I Let You Go!

How it works is that we're supposed to post about a time we've had to let go, and that's pretty much it.

So, here's mine...(and pardon me for it not being written the best - I'm typing the thoughts as they come to me because it's not something I like to think about much).

It's about a boyfriend I had in college.  We started dating at the end of my freshman year and were still together when I graduated, but by that time, I felt like we were more than friends than a couple.  Mostly, that's my fault.  I started to feel claustrophobic and the more time he wanted to spend with me, the less time I wanted to spend with him.  I don't know exactly why that was, but my interests started changing and I just didn't feel the same way I used to.

Anyhow, I was young and stupid.  I left to go back home so I could start a job, and we tried to do the long distance thing, but I wanted to let loose a little bit.  I started hanging out with my sister and her best friend a lot.  We'd go dancing on Friday nights and I was getting hit on a lot.  I always turned the guys down because I had a boyfriend, but there was one guy who was really persistent...and very good looking and charming.  He wore me down and I did something I still regret to this day...I cheated on my boyfriend.   

I came clean about it pretty fast, and we broke up - naturally - but we couldn't completely sever ties.  My name was still on our lease in the college town, so I was paying that until the lease ended.  But it wasn't just that.  We still talked every day.  At first it was a lot of yelling at each other, and we talked about trying to work things out.  After we decided it wasn't going to happen, we'd still talk every day, even after we started dating other people.  I'd tell him about my boyfriend.  He'd tell me about his girlfriend.  We had a lot of friends in common and we'd discuss them.  He'd tell me about his new job, and I'd tell him about mine.  This went on for almost a year, after I started dating my current husband.  I don't even quite remember why it tapered off, but one day he didn't call me when he usually did.  And I didn't call him.  He called a few days later and we talked, but then I didn't hear from him really after that, and I didn't call, either, having decided that it was something that was long overdue.

It was a big adjustment, letting go of someone I still cared about, but I'm  not sure it was really healthy that we kept talking.  It was like we were afraid to make the break completely, though I don't know how happy we were to even hear from each other in the end.  It's almost like we felt obligated to keep talking. 

Either way, although I regret my actions and the way things ended, I also know it was for the best.  We're both in better places.  He's married to the girl he started dating after me.  I'm married the guy I started dating.  I'm happy with my current situation, and I'm hoping he's happy in his.

Anyway, that's my story of letting go.

Be sure to check out all the other entries on Kyra's page.

36 comments:

  1. Ah, yes. I had a similar experience with a boyfriend of mine. It sort of sucks to sever the ties, but sometimes it really is for the best.

    Thanks for participating in the blog hop! :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are right, it was for the best. Even when it's hard, sometimes letting go is the right thing to do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Break-ups are difficult, but severing ties for good is even harder. It made you a stronger person in the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it did and it also made me grow up in a lot of ways. Thank you.

      Delete
  4. It is so hard when you still care for someone but know that you must sever ties, forever. I had a best guy friend for years that I had to let go of when he got married. (His wife did not care much for me b/c of how close we were) and it just about killed me. I told him he really shouldn't call me anymore if it upset her. I still miss the heck out of him, but it was for the best. I would never want to interfere with his primary relationship. Even though she had nothing to worry about, it just wouldn't have felt right, to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry, but you did the right thing and that took a lot of guts. :D

      Delete
  5. How bittersweet. And brave to be so honest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. It wasn't easy to put this out there and mark myself as a cheater, but it was a long time ago, and I have changed who I am since then.

      Delete
  6. It's nice that you were able to get closure with him. By continuing to talk, it seems like you were able to work out the issues that drove you apart in the first place, until your parting wasn't done in anger. It probably helps with that "what if" feeling that always seems to come after a bad breakup.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was good closure, but I'll admit, I still have the what if moments and I still dream of him sometimes. Thanks.

      Delete
  7. Breakups are the worse. I'm glad you guys were able to work it out and you had closure. Sounds like you made each other better people.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You were right to break ties. This was such a sad and touching story. More so that it's real.

    ReplyDelete
  9. As long as you are both happy now, that's what matters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm happy. I'm just hoping he is, as well.

      Delete
  10. It's hard to sever ties, isn't it? I'm glad it all worked out, though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! It is hard, but it was for the best.

      Delete
  11. I hope you are both happy now. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Interesting how you came to that decision in the end. Some people are harder to let go of, I think. Glad you're happy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I admire your honesty and I'm glad things have worked out in both of your lives. Thanks for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I know all about long distance relationships. They're really difficult. You're brave to come clean and to let go in the end. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It is tough, and your honesty is a good thing. Sometimes it takes distance - and time - to let go. I think you both did a great job.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm a new follower of your blog...saying hello from the blog hop. Breakups are often tough. Thank you for sharing your story.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I believe things happen for the best, and it sounds like they ultimately did for the both of you. Thanks for sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Everybody makes mistakes and forgiveness is a virtue, so they say. I sure am glad I've been forgiven for dumb things I've done in the past, anyway.

    I have done the long distance thing before and, needless to say, never want to again. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love your spontaneity... and think that you were very brave to type this piece as the thoughts came to mind. We all make mistakes - it's part of being human.
    Sincerity and honesty shine through in your writing!

    ReplyDelete
  20. thanks for sharing this, it was a very relatable story

    ReplyDelete
  21. blog hopping and now following ! always hard to make life adjustments such as relationships, thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jaycee, I am glad you wrote a personal piece similar to mine. It makes me feel not quite so vulnerable!

    Young love is certainly different than the bonded married life!

    ReplyDelete
  23. What an honest post. We all make mistakes and learn from them. It seemed like it was hard to let go, but things turned out for the best.

    ReplyDelete